Well guys, another year of the greatest game ever, baseball. As I type this posting, I'm wearing my Cubbies shirt which I am channeling. I've often looked at the Cubs as that real hot chick you hooked up with one summer, she breaks your heart in September (or if your the Cubs sometimes this will happen in June), and you swear to all that you hold dear that you'll never talk to or think about the skank again, but she calls you again the next year and there you are like a retard wearing a helmet happy to see a butterfly and your hooked again. I swear it's like the Cubs slip some GHB in my drink (ala Sebastian Janikowski) and take me home and hump me real quick like a 14 year old boy just learning how to flog his dolphin beating his meat puppet like it stole something from him, and they don't lube.
Bastards. I mean this year they've started early by not pitching, hitting, or fielding. Looks like my crush will be over by early May this year. Although we have signed the coolest player in Major League history, that's right Kosuke FUK-U-DO-ME, I mean with the Cubbies saying that line to me what chance to I have. But I know, I know, I'm going to be let down like the last episode of Seinfeld. Kind of like thinking your bedding a cover girl from Maxim Magazine and finding out her name is Jamal........Who's spent time in prison.
